then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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