with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
