doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hello my rib-scented angel!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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