This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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