hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
