It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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