Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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