I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize