youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
as a side note pls kill me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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