She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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