He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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