we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
