so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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