guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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