Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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