I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
