Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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