Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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