normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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