Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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