Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
