you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
