I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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