is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
