At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
