At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it because I queefed?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!