It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Too much gin, very little bucket
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.