Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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  (607): It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit. (1-607): I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey http://tfl.nu/q7g1
  Replies (16) Good night (2869) Bad night (809)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.

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  (914): Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase. http://tfl.nu/ryxu
  Replies (68) Good night (688) Bad night (4484)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me

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  (908): he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me http://tfl.nu/31sq
  Replies (20) Good night (1820) Bad night (4762)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

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  (678): Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college. http://tfl.nu/311k
  Replies (6) Good night (2612) Bad night (1081)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves

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  (407): So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves http://tfl.nu/mggy
  Replies (20) Good night (6220) Bad night (1391)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.

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  (352): My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone. http://tfl.nu/x5d3
  Replies (12) Good night (1384) Bad night (4644)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

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  (410): My mouth holds just enough water for my bong http://tfl.nu/u9dn
  Replies (7) Good night (2186) Bad night (1093)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.

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  (706): Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks. http://tfl.nu/8xp5
  Replies (1) Good night (2718) Bad night (827)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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  (315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs
  Replies (18) Good night (2440) Bad night (685)
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  (914): View more from New York

  If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.

  (914): View more from New York

  I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.

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  (914): If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded. (914): I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit. http://tfl.nu/hj4l
  Replies (14) Good night (2005) Bad night (960)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.

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  (508): True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college. http://tfl.nu/95qw
  Replies (50) Good night (887) Bad night (3276)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.

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  (815): My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/xtl1
  Replies (0) Good night (946) Bad night (300)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...

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  (360): You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again... http://tfl.nu/ebe2
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (439)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.

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  (586): Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh. http://tfl.nu/lt2m
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (304)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high

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  (253): Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high http://tfl.nu/g7nh
  Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (185)

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