I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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