it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
