Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
