Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
