I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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