neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
