idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
NoShamevember. You game?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
