I never want to see another naked old woman again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
