yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
