My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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