Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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