If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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