Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
