p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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