haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
