my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
