apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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