I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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