ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
