My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
