im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
