I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
