There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
