I only kidnapped one of them. chill
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
