So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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