just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
