I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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