dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
