He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
