ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You took a bar mat shot.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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