hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I want to be your penis for a week.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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