this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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