I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
