My brain says no but my pants say off.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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