I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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